The American Dream

It's been 7 months since my last blog and that is mostly thanks to the wonder, that I finally got a job. I am now the absolutely underpaid, overworked Development Director of a wonderful non-profit here in DC. It's dysfunctional, hectic, chaotic and absolutely fantastic but more about this later in another blog. Yesterday something happened, which got me back to the keyboard. For almost 1 month I have been in charge of my organizations move into a new Office space. The office being a basement, needed full renovation and so we have had contractors in and out for what feels like my entire life. The past week I have been full time in the Office working alongside one of the teams and have gotten to know one of the guys by the name of Carlos. He casually told me 2 days ago that his son had the flu, when we talked about the weather. Next day when we came to work, I asked him how his son was doing, expecting a casual reply back. The answer that came left me speechless. Carlos said "Well, my son is doing better, but last night mu neighbor got shot". I am standing there, not sure I heard him correctly, so I had him repeat and sure enough, the night before a 19 year old kid was out doing his job for a pizza chain delivering flyer's, when someone tried to rob him. The kid didn't want to give up his money and tried to run, so the robbers shot him in the back and killed him. Now this story in its own right, is so incredibly sad but here is what makes it even worse. Carlos looks at me and says "My son used to go to school with the kid who got shot. The kid dropped out of high school because he got his girlfriend pregnant, so he was out working to support his family. I remember the day he was born, I was there. I was actually his godfather". At that point he was almost in tears and I had nothing to add to the story, just stood there. Then Carlos turned around and started talking about the new door locks he had brought for me from Home Depot and that was it, we didn't mention it again, but it has got me thinking. Carlos came from El Salvador with his family 30 years ago. He works today as a plummer and electrician as a day-worker meaning, if his boss doesn't get work, he doesn't get paid. Every day it's day-to-day, no security, no social benefits, no health insurance etc. So for Carlos the American dream would be to see his kid do well. Do better than him, but how does that work when he himself is still so low on the social ladder? It seems to me the American Dream is just an expression with no link to the bottom of the social chain. Even if you do work hard, do everything you can, once you're at the bottom, you stay there. So this blog is for the kid, for Carlos and for the hope that the American Dream actually is still alive and that change will come to the hardworking people who get up everyday, trying to make a difference in their life and to the hope that Carlos' son might one day make it 1 step up the ladder for a better future.

The new place

Et voila! Thought I would share the wonders of our new place.

The con's; It's small, expensive, you can't open the windows more than a fraction and you can't clean them (which I seriously wake up at night being stressed out about), and the air condition seems to have a selective personality, when it comes to providing cool air in the different rooms (aka. the bathroom is freezing, the office, not so much).

The pro's: It has a view of Pentagon, which I guess is kind a cool. The building is right next to Costco, so we will never again run out of toilet paper or anything else available in bulks. It's kind a like you have your own dog, because there is a dog park right outside the building where you can go pet random four legged creatures and maybe even take one home if their owners are slow runners.

So for the next 12 months this is where we are at. No guest room but if you come by you can bunk in one of the guest suites :-)

He is my brother.....

So, after a rather long silence treatment, I am now back on the blog, ready to let you in on why I have been so silent. It all started Friday 1st of July when we were finally getting our furniture back from Switzerland. The move had been organized for more than 3 months and the company doing the move had sold themselves on their great experience moving for the German army and their great local suppliers in DC. We were expecting the movers to arrive at 10am but at 9.45am we got a call from their office, were a rather rude German gentleman explained that we had outstanding bills and our furniture would not be delivered before these were paid. Hm, okay, interesting since we were under the impression everything was paid in full. Also, how about calling the day before to solve this issue?? Anyway. long story short the guy gets more and more rude and it ends up with us having to explore 3 different banks and come up with more than $3.000 to cover the costs. When the van finally shows about 2 hours late (they went to the wrong address) it turns out the company don't even have their own van, it's a rental and very small so only half of our furniture is there. At this point we are like, "you know what, just get it in the apartment and go get the rest". At 8pm at night we finally have everything in the apartment, but now we realize 3 sofa cushions are missing along with a dining chair. Several things are broken and it's all just a big mess. Then comes the best part of the day. My husband tells the moving guy to let the office know of the broken and missing items. He adds and I quote "Don't have Patrick call me (rude guy from earlier) I don't mind Kathy calling me but keep Patric away, he is the worst person I ever encountered" The guy's response "Ok, no problem. Kathy is actually my mom" "Uhm, Okay...." "Yeah, and Patrick is my brother" "You are kidding right?" "Nope"..... Okay, enough said. They sold themselves on being a large, professional moving company servicing more than 50 moves pr. year to DC for the army and reality they were a small very unprofessional company.  So we are shaking our heads and moving on and hopefully we will get insurance to cover so we can actually sit in our couch :-)

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The Real Housewives - bad or just sad???

After arriving in America I have to admit, a new guilty pleasure of mine, has been to watch the mind blowing reality series called "The Real Housewives of ....." For those of you unfamiliar with the show, I will try to explain. Basically, it is a reality show following a group of housewives, living privileged lives around the US, spending time back-stabbing their friends, lying to their surroundings, being conniving and obsessing over things that has no meaning and creating the biggest dramas you will ever see on TV. The show has millions of fans, bloggers, twitters and has run for more than 7 years, where each year, a new city is added with a new group of housewives, just as mind numbingly into fake tans and botox as the others.

When I first starting watching the show, I quickly became fan of the one from New York and the one taking place in Orange County. The shear volume of drama going on in these shows is beyond what I have ever seen before and so I was hooked. Some days ago my husband and I were dining with some new friends and we got into talking about the show, because an article recently argued how massive amounts of reality TV is unhealthy for your intelligence and will make you downright stupid. Both men at the table agreed, that the "Real Housewives" is a perfect example of this statement and an argument to stop watching the show. However, I am not sure it is that simple.

At this point in time you could of course argue that any type of reality TV is a waste of time and I agree there should be limits to the amount of time you spend watching it. However, there must be a reason why so many people choose to spent their time following these women and here is what I have come to believe;

1. First off, it is always intriguing to get a peak of how other people live their lives, especially if there are scandals and drama involved.

2. These women are not all stupid, some are actually quit savvy business people.  They get the most out of what God gave them and hey in America that is called "Good for you!"

3. The women who participates in the shows, actually believe they are entitled to behave the way they do and that makes it even more interesting to watch as in "I cannot believe she just did that".

4. Probably a lot of the fans wish they were on the show. I really don't know what to think of this, but I am sure it's true.

So, what to make of the phenomenon. Clearly it is targeted at women and gay men who can enjoy a good round of drama. My husband clearly thinks it is the worst show on TV and I do believe that if I publicly endorsed the show at my next job interview, I would not get a call back. At the end of the day I have decided to cut back on my share of real housewives as it gets to you like a drug and I personally find it more sad than bad. Lucky for me "Toddlers and Tiaras" have just started, so as long as I don't tell my husband, I can get my reality fix through toddlers posing in beauty pageants - cause that's not wrong at all :-)

For those who want to learn more about the "Real Housewives" or "Toddlers in Tiaras" please follow the links.

the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city

toddlers-tiaras

For those who would like to know what the impact of TV has on you brain go to this link


reality tv and your brain

The network experiment - Danes versus Americans

So, the other day I decided to make a little experiment. Nothing scientific, just a fun look into the difference in networking mentality between Danes and Americans. Goal of experiment was to prove, how Danes generally will only accept you into their network, if they already know you, whereas Americans will allow you into their network, if they think your profile looks interesting and they believe they at some future stage might benefit from having you in the circle.

So, in order to test this hypothesis, I went to my LinkedIn profile and looked for people I have never met, but are in some of the same LinkedIn groups as me. I chose to invite 20 Americans and 20 Danes to link to my profile, with just the standard invitation. I offered no explanation of why I wanted to link or acknowledgement of the fact that I don't know these people. Here, 24 hours later, I have what I would consider enough results to prove my point.

Status is, 15 out of the 20 Americans have linked to my profile, some of them with very welcoming comments like "You have such a cool profile" or "What a pleasure to meet you, I look forward to get to know you". Out of the 20 Danes, only 2 have linked to me, 10 have blocked me and 4 have written responses like "Do I know you??" "Why are you linking to me??" "Excuse me, but stop bothering me, I am not interested". SO, obviously 2 very different approaches to networking, but what can we really learn from this. My interpretation is;

1. Americans look upon everything as a business opportunity and are always open to meeting new people. Whether I know you is NOT important. If I believe you can be of value, then why not include you in my network.

2. Danes are always suspicious as to the "hidden" agenda of other people. Are you trying to sell me something?? Are you looking to bother me or ask me a favour?? They generally do not want to spend time on people they don't know and especially people that are approaching them without explanation.

For me it was an intersting experiment, because I learned something about my own approach to people. I used to have the Danish "don't-come-to-close" mentality, but after having been in the states for only 3 months I see how this is limiting me and what great opportunities I get, for unexpected things to happen when I open up and connect to strangers.

So my advice would be, for my fellow Danes to learn from the openness of Americans and let people in, even if you don't exactly know for what reason, I guarantee you will get positively surprised. As for now, I will go back to LinkedIn and spent time to get to know my new contacts and see where it takes me. Happy networking everyone!

You got 60 seconds go!

So, it's been three months since I got here and I am still fully engaged in the art of seeking employment. Here are 10 things I have learned so far and I wished someone would have told me in advance;

1. Learn to say exactly who you are, what you can do and why you do it better than anyone else. You have 30-60 seconds to do this. Piece of cake!

2. Do NOT expect employers to pay any attention to your resume, even it they tell you they have read it, they really haven't. Great!

3. Everyone in DC has an MBA so don't think you are special. Oh OK, good to know!

4. Please remember that if an employer tells you, they will call you, or get back to you, they most likely won't. But hey, that is not personal, so please don't take it the wrong way.

5. When going for an interview always be on time, bring extra copies of the resume and be ready to do a drug test on the spot. You will be sure the employer is always late, hasn't read any of the material you send them and can demand random requests in order to check you credibility. Yes! that makes sense.

6. No matter what you do, never ask about salary expectations or the anticipated time line for the recruitment process. These are just such hard questions that no one seem to know.

7. Be certain that you set up at least 5 coffee appointments pr. week. Not, that they will get you closer to a job, it's just how things are done, so we all do it without asking questions.

8. Go to as many networking arrangements as possible. Here you will learn the art of throwing business cards. Sometimes you don't even need to talk to people, just look them straight in the eyes and give them the damn card.

9. Be sure to post you resume at sites like monster.com or theladders.com. These sights will for sure not help you in any way, but if you are really lucky, they will charge you $300 for a resume review, which can give you absolutely nothing you didn't already know before.

10. Last but not least, make sure you have someone to hug you everyday. If not, you might be so discouraged you would want to take it out on the people you meet everyday and that will surely not get you the job!

So, with my new 10 commandments, lets see if I will be any closer to employment in three months from now. To all my fellow job seekers. Hang in there, and let me know how you are doing before you give up!